I have always believed that there are no accidents. I have read countless books (some were even near-death experiences) which convinced me that everything happens for a purpose and that before we were born, God already ordained the days of our lives.
But lately, I started doubting that.
I felt distant to my Maker. Questions run through my mind: Is He indeed the God who sees things even before they occur? Why aren't things happening the way I want them to happen? Is He really the God who always gives us the best? Does He really know my dreams? Does He even consider the plans I made or does He just leafs through my prayer list then dumps them? Is He interested? Does He even care?
Yes I know, all of these questions have already been answered by "experts". But If God could just send an angel to tell me what He's doing, then that would be very much appreciated.
I wanted answers.
And answers I got.
Although it did not come in the form of an angel with a very bright light hovering above me, it was still a revelation when I realized that It was God speaking.
The answers came through interruptions - "God's Interruptions" I call them
They started the other week before the Dedication event of the Singles for Christ. Since the Visual Directors are going to Davao for a trip, they couldn't make the video we planned to show on the event. Being the Tech. Director, I took on the job of making it.
That fatal Thursday night (the Dedication was on Sunday and that night was the only 2 of the free times I will have for the week), I was so determined with the making of the video that I did not even check my mails nor open any web browser for fear that I might be tempted and be delayed. Because for your information, it was the first time that I did such a project and I have yet to tinker the program which I will use.
So there I was, eyes glued to the computer, making the video, when I realized that I need to add a specific photo to make my message more clearer. It was a must-have picture and I couldn't rest until I have it. So I texted my friend and he willingly and immediately uploaded it on facebook. I opened the web with the intention of downloading the picture only then logging out immediately.
But God had other plans. He interrupted me.
I was only 5 minutes online and when I was about to log off, a chat message came out of my screen. It was from somebody that I really respect. She was a friend of a friend. Although we're connected in Facebook, I don't chat with her often because we are not yet that very close. Besides, she's the boss of some company so I kinda feel awestruck around her.
So when her chat message came out, I was surprised and couldn't really ignore her just like that. After the preliminaries, she asked If I already did what she thought I have already done. Told her not yet and that I am still to go to it and check it. She was persistent that I check it immediately. And being a good girl, I obeyed. (Besides, I was really curious too. What could have happened to him? Does he have any problem? Is there something wrong that he couldn't tell me?) While I was there, my palms became sweaty and my heart was pounding loudly. When I finished, she asked my opinion and we talked for a good couple of minutes. We became close friends after that and I respected her all the more for pushing me to do what she wanted me to do.
You see, it was an eye-opener. Although I already knew some of it, but when I viewed it, I understood much better. And it was a relief too to know that nothing is wrong. In fact, it's even better. A love for something that was lost returned. He's back and I'm happy and proud of the achievement.
But why did she wanted me go there? Obviously the reason was that she wanted me to have a deeper understanding. But why the secrecy? Hmm... is there something cooking? I don't know... I really don't know. All I know is that I don't want to analyze for fear that I might over-analyze the situation. I'll leave to fate that question. I guess Patience is my constant companion. That is one virtue God is continually working on me. But it did stir my inquisitiveness that I could not concentrate on the video anymore and I have to declare abandon ship - at least for the night.
Thus begun the road to Patheticity (I know, there isn't such a word but I'd like to call it that even if I find a suitable synonym for it).
Another "interruption" happened just very recently. Who would have thought that God would orchestrate a phenomenon that many were affected and quite disappointed while it was happening? I was disappointed myself because it was not part of the plan. But God did it just for the benefit so He could emphasize the direction He was leading me all along. And my close friend was the one who kindly pointed it out to me while we were listening to a talk. The speaker always repeats that everything happens for a reason. Now God could really work up a comedy because the "interruption" was funny in some sort of way. Imagine all those people affected and their plans were interrupted as well just so "that" could happen. We had a good laugh discussing it. My friend emphasized what Master Oogway of Kung Fu Panda always says: "There are no accidents". It became our motto of the week.
So just when you thought you have it all planned out, God has a way of making you stop so that you realize that this is the road that He wants you to follow and that this is the person He wants you to touch. I don't know what other interruptions God will place along my path, but I know He will continue to interrupt me just so He could reassure me that He is in control and that He knows what He is doing.
For now, I'll continue with the assignment He has given me until the time He sends the person I will go "to the wilds of Colorado with".