Level Up

Imagine how a simple word can suddenly alter the course of your lifeboat. 

It all started with that word, and now things are different. 

Early this month, he asked me if he could escort me "hangtod-hangtod" (forever and ever). I was taken aback and I honestly analyzed his statement. I told him innocently that "hangtod-hangtod" is too long that when I get married, I'm sure my husband will not agree to him escorting me and that automatically, he would become my escort then.

He laughed and told me that I finally got what he meant. I was taken aback again but this time, I laughed comprehensibly, gathered my wits about me and told him that "hangtod-hangtod" is way up there already and we're not even on the first level yet. He acknowledged that even one fourth of the stage isn't reached yet. So I asked him if he would like to upgrade our current level and he hurriedly replied with: "How do I level up?"
I honestly don't want him to have a very hard time so I told him that all he had to do was to give me 20 push-ups. Of course the reaction was one of delight. He could very well do up to 50 if I really want him to. Then he said something that really made me laugh: he confessed that now, he would be much more intimidated with 'sir' (referring to my dad) and that for me, all he had to do was 20, but he anticipates that with my dad, his push-ups would be unlimited. I assured him that my father will not do such a thing but nevertheless, if he will, I doubt if he will survive. He boldly commented that he will never surrender nor quit because he is the type of person that will do anything in order to get what he wants no matter how rough the road would get. But added: "ayaw lang pod laluma kaayo ang pagkalot ha?"

Funny, but does he expect me to bring a shovel?

Now, since he already made plain to me his intention, we now openly talk about it. We both ask each other questions in order to know the other better. Yesterday, his cousin came by the house and my mother asked him if he knew if 'he' has any girlfriend. The cousin shyly commented that he does not know of anybody lately. I did not dare look at his cousin in the eyes for fear that I might reveal something. That time, we were texting and I told him what mamang asked his cousin. He just laughed and assured me that its normal for mothers to ask bluntly regarding anything that concerns their children. He did not seem afraid that his cousin might reveal something he does not like us to know.

The whole family now know his intentions. Last Thursday, he called me for the first time and asked about my mother. When I assured him that she is okay, he said that he will text her anyway. And he did do it last Saturday. They texted for some time and he told mamang that he will visit her when she goes to Zamboanga with my sisters for the enrollment. Yet he never informed me what he did nor of what they talked about. I found out about it when I came home that night and mamang let me read his messages.

I therefore concluded that he would have to be a fool if he is willing to go to all that trouble of winning the trust of my family and then not mean his intention. So, he must be really genuine.

Last night, I received another informal proposal of marriage. He no longer used the word "hangtod-hangtod" but instead, bluntly stated the words. I laughed and told him that we 'might' be destined for each other but he must first remember that I haven't even said yes to him yet. That brought him back to planet earth and made him realize again that he must first do what he has to do. He knows what must be done, and he told me so. Only, the distance keeps him from doing it. But I told him not to force things. Let it bloom in its season. If by the middle of June they will have their FTP here, then he will finally have his opportunity.

I am quite amazed with how I am responding to him. Ever since he started texting me, I have been praying to God about it. I have been praying for guidance and discernment. What amazed me is that my heart and mind is not in conflict. I have no doubts and I feel at peace whenever I asked God's opinion regarding the whole matter.

The whole situation is totally the opposite of what I dreamed it to be. I would have wanted that he was a very dear friend first. I would have wanted that he is someone near. I would have wanted that he is someone mysterious.

But he is someone that I barely knew and is still on the process of really knowing. He is someone who is far (for the mean time). He is someone who has had a reputation of being a "bad boy". He is someone who have had loads of girlfriends before (I didn't inquire yet the exact number because when I asked him, he used the word "many". I think if I asked him again, he would have to concentrate first in order to remember them all before he could give me the correct answer.) He is someone without any mysteries at all (as far as i know yet anyway)

However, he is also someone who is honest, kind and hardworking. He is a man with convictions. He isn't complicated because he doesn't always analyze things or situations (I know so because he told me that he gave up analyzing why he likes me.) He is responsible and worthy of trust (my father trusts him; that's evidence enough).

But whatever he is, he was able to tame me and to me, that meant a lot. Now, I am learning how to become pathetic again and to open my heart to him. And with all the earnestness I possess, I don't find that very hard to do.

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